Suede
by Seraphim Grace
Summary: Heero has a new mission, not leaving Duo alone. Rated for attempted suicide. Not a death fic complete
1. you always felt like suede

Suede

"_You always felt like suede"_

_>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>_

Heero stood next to Une at the glass wall of the hospital. He faced away where she looked through the glass to the small cot beyond. He leaned against the safety glass and crossed his arms. "There's your new mission, Heero." She said looking into the small hospital ward, it had been cordoned off with screens that made the bed seem bigger, it also served to make the bed's inhabitant seem a lot smaller. The bed was an ocean that the figure drowned in. All that really showed was the sparkling white bandages around his wrists.

"If you had a sense of humour I'd ask if you were kidding." He answered her.

Her long brown hair was down and her voice was a soft whisper. She placed her fingers against the glass. "Then you know I don't joke, especially about things like this. This is a very delicate situation, Heero Yuy," she enunciated the name carefully, "and it must be managed delicately. You are among my best agents, and I trust that you will deal with it, properly." She turned to look at him. "I ask very little of you for this." Then she turned her eyes back to the figure that seemed so tiny on the very huge bed.

"Why me?" He asked. This was not the kind of mission he understood. Some things were uncomfortable and although he welcomed the change from being Relena Peacecraft's private bodyguard duty he wasn't sure he wanted to take this mission.

It was his turn to look at the sedated figure on the bed. The boy, and it was a boy, no older than seventeen, lay on his back with the sheet pulled up to his armpits but his arms laid out on them with the bandages like gauntlets over his wrists. His hair was a snake alongside him on the sheets, and his eyes were closed. He looked drained and not at all peaceful. There was an IV running from his arm into a drip that was the dark black red of blood. The boy could cope on his own, he didn't need a bodyguard. He knew that well enough.

"Because he trusts you." Une answered. "We found him this morning, in one of the stock rooms, hidden behind a pile of parts, gas tanks to be precise. Dr Po thinks that had we waited half an hour longer that he might have bled out." Her eyes moved to the IV and then back to the boy. "Normally we would put him on suicide watch, but this is not normal, is it, Heero?" Although her hair was down and her voice was soft there was no doubt which Lady Une he was talking to. "There would be great problems if word of this leaked to the press."

"And you want me to what?" Heero asked.

"Watch him, make sure that he doesn't hurt himself. Be his friend." Une smiled at the sleeping boy. "He needs someone that will never leave him, that's your mission, don't leave him."

"What makes you think that I won't fail this mission?"

Une smiled as if he had cracked a very funny joke. "You won't fail, Heero, you won't let yourself."

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Duo woke slowly and carefully, a task that was made more difficult by the terrible languor in his bones. He felt like he was in heavy G. he could feel the strangeness of heavy medication that he couldn't fight off, suggesting it had been in his blood stream for several hours. Looking around his cubicle at the hospital he became aware of several things at once, foremost of these was a dark head resting on a pillowed pair of arms. It was something that he had never expected to see.

It was Heero, he raised his head to stare at Duo through his dark brown bangs. His eyes were accusative. "Baka." He said firmly with absolutely no tenderness.

"I missed you too." Duo answered calmly without a hint of his obvious sarcasm in his tone, though his expression was wry well beyond his years. "Why are you here?"

"Because." He answered sharply, he didn't look at the bandages on Duo's wrists or even at the IV that steadily fed into his arm, he avoided all traces of the injury and looked into his eyes. He had forgotten their colour, he had forgotten so much about him. They were almost the colour of lavenders, and the blue veins that traced under his pale skin.

"That's not an answer, Heero." Duo chided.

"Why did you do it?" Heero answered him with a question.

"Because." Duo answered.

"Then we're even." Heero said sitting up and stretching his back, "when you tell me why so will I."

He took Duo home that day, he brought him a long sleeved hooded sweater, and tucked his braid down his back and helped him with his jeans. Heero wore a pair of wide legged trousers that ended at mid-calf and his yellow trainers that he had worn through the war, and a baseball cap whose shadow hid his eyes. There was a dignitary in the hospital and the press were thick about the door.

They walked out with their eyes down, making sure that the bandages on Duo's wrists were covered by the dark sweater and that no one caught their eyes. He opened the door to the car and made sure that Duo got in before sitting at the driver's seat and then reaching over and belting Duo in. "Come on, Heero." Duo protested tugging at the belt but not undoing it.

Heero ignored him and fastened his own seat belt before starting the car.

He drove not to Duo's small house but his own large apartment. It was a second floor apartment that looked over a park, but he knew how his home worked and had the vision of Duo's house to be incredibly cluttered and messy. "This isn't mine." Duo said looking up at the Georgian fronted house in Brussels where Heero lived. "I live no where near here."

"This is mine." Heero said parking the car, "You're staying with me."

Duo unbelted himself and turned around to look at Heero, "Look, I can look after myself, Heero, I don't need you to abduct me."

"Baka." Heero answered, getting out of the car, "we can pick up some of your things later, the doctor says that it's either stay with me or be committed."

Duo lowered his fabulous eyes for a moment then conceded. "Don't ask me why." He said finally, "just don't ask me."

"Then we're even," Heero answered opening the door for Duo, "there's lots of questions I don't want to answer either."

The apartment was spacious and sparsely decorated, the walls were painted a dull off white that complemented perfectly with the pine that dominated the room. There was a small open plan kitchen that was bridged by a glass dining table.

There was a series of small sash windows along one wall, and they were mirrored by artful photographs of space battles that had been taken from a distance and gave the overall feel of an expressionist piece of bright colours exploding over inky blackness. They suited the room perfectly.

There was a wicker couch in the centre of the room with a paperback novel open on it, it looked almost lived in. Behind it was a huge bookcase that was stuffed full of books, they were dog eared and for the most part second hand, with a low moan of surprise Duo moved towards it, running his fingers over the cracked spines, all these books were antique and well loved, in several languages. Each shelf was stuffed with books stood vertical and then horizontal on top until there was no more room for more. "I had no idea." Duo whispered, reading some of the titles, "you really do read anything don't you, it's not often you see Edgar Allen Poe next to _Now We Are Six_."

"Help yourself." Heero said lifting the kettle and carrying it across the small kitchen to the faucet. "I've read them all, there are more in the spare bedroom."

Duo gave a low whistle. "I think I will," he said with a small smile that never reached his eyes. "Thank you."

As the kettle boiled on the stove he lifted down two small tea cups, "I have no coffee in at the moment, so you'll have to make do with tea. It's probably better for you at the moment anyway." Heero said measuring the tea into the pot, "the bathroom's through there and the spare bedroom," he gestured to the door, "you can't miss it, it's the one on the left of the bathroom with the huge bookcase."

"Heero," Duo said, "look, I'm fine now, really, you don't have to go to any bother."

Heero poured the boiling water into the tea pot with a weary sigh. "Unless you want to stay in the hospital for another couple of days, I have to." He answered. "Now you are my guest, do guest things and stop refusing my hospitality."

Duo looked at him for a moment and then a slow smile crossed his face, it was almost a smirk. "Yes, sir." He said trying not to laugh. "Only you, Heero, could make enjoying yourself an order."

Heero came in with two cups of green tea and offered one to Duo thanked him. He sat down on the surprisingly comfortable sofa and looked across at Heero, where his sleeves had slid down his arms the white bandages on his wrists were clear but Heero managed to completely ignore them. It was a reassuring gesture. "Make yourself at home, you don't have to sit at attention."

Duo's shoulders noticeably lowered, the tea was hot and slightly sweet, smelling of jasmine that swirled around his face in a perfumed cloud. "I didn't…" He began but there were no other words.

Heero's smile was a little wan and surprised. "I'm your friend, aren't I?" He asked. "We are partners, are we not?"

A single tear escaped Duo's left eye and he swallowed uncomfortably. He wiped it away quickly and then emptied his cup. "Thank you."

Heero was made uncomfortable by the show of emotion, even though the doctor had suggested it as a possibility, that Duo would be tired and his emotions would boil over for a little while, after all he had nearly died, and so Heero ignored the tear and offered him a tray of biscuits instead. Duo, unsure of how to react, took one of the offered biscuits. In his place he would have offered Heero comfort, possibly wrapped his arms about him and held him through the wracking sobs that would have followed. Instead he took a tiny bite of the biscuit and found it spicy sweet. He splutter-coughed as he realised that Heero had made these biscuits and the image of the perfect soldier baking brought a smile to his face. The image of the most feared terrorist of the war stood in a kitchen with flour in his hair, in a frilly pink apron that said kiss the cook with icing on his nose amused him no end and before he realised what was happening he was laughing, hard, holding his sides.

"Baka." Heero said, but rather than the killing glare he normally graced them with it was softened to a maiming glare, for Heero it was almost fond. "Watch out for your stitches."

Duo was still laughing as he tugged his sleeves down over his wrists.


	2. there are days i am your twin

"_You always felt like suede_

_There are days I am your twin_

_Peek a boo, hiding_

_underneath your skin"_

Duo awoke with a start in an unfamiliar room with no idea of the dream that woke him. The room was dark and unfamiliar, but despite that it felt safe. Duo hadn't felt safe in a long time. Wrestling himself up into a sitting position a familiar figure caught Duo unawares, sitting asleep in a cushioned chair, his legs curled up against his chest and his head resting against his arm was Heero. Duo watched him for a few moments before he realised the reason he felt safe was Heero. It came as a quiet shock to realise he hadn't felt safe since the war, since he had last been with Heero.

"What woke you?" Heero asked, without even opening his eyes.

"Dunno," Duo answered. "I don't sleep well." Heero uncoiled himself from the chair. "Why did you sleep in the chair?"

"I wanted to make sure you slept." Heero answered quietly. "I've never had a guest before."

"Normally, you ask them in the morning." Duo said swinging his legs out of the bed and standing up. "Do you want anything to drink? I want a drink?"

"I only have tea and water." Heero said quietly.

Duo gave him a weary smile, "I was kinda hoping for soda, but water will be fine, I think something crawled into my mouth and made it it's home before dying after a long and fruitful life." He ran his tongue over his lips, "d'ya want some?"

"Yes, thank you." Heero said, standing up. "I don't think that either of us is going to sleep anymore this evening, do you?"

Duo shook his head, "maybe there's a film on the box," he said, "or failing that I'm sure we can manage a conversation." He sounded doubtful, "of course we never have before." Duo stopped in the doorway and looked back at Heero, "Why you?" He asked, "why not Quatre, or Hilde, or even Sally? Why did Une ask you?"

Heero shrugged because he genuinely did not know, "perhaps because they would coddle you believing that you were incapable of doing anything for yourself whereas I respect you as a soldier and believe if you want to do something you will do it regardless, and none of my protestations to the contrary will stop you, also perhaps it is that you will be more comfortable with me simply because I will not consistently ask you for your reasons, maybe she realises that I will know that your reasons are your own."

Duo frowned. "Thank you," he said, "I think." He scratched his head, "I'm still on suicide watch, aren't I?" Heero nodded. "I thought so."

"I assume that Une supposed that if one of the others was babying you that you might be driven to suicide." Heero said in a complete deadpan.

Duo blinked for a moment before he realised that Heero had made a joke and he laughed. Heero always spoke so carefully, he never used slang, when he spoke it was always the same way that he wrote his reports, never from him were the "hey doc" or "watcha doin'?" It came as a surprise that those perfectly formed sentences could reveal a personality as complex as Heero's. He always knew that Heero was complicated, but just never expected it to show through his speech patterns, and for him to crack such a tasteless joke was mind-bending. "D'ya know what," Duo said, "I missed you."

The kitchen revealed a pair of French doors that led unto a small balcony that showed the house's garden and the spread of the night sky, it caught Duo by surprise, the rest of the apartment was little given over to frivolity, like Heero, it was efficient but there were no curtains over the glass doors, if anything it just seemed to frame the tableau in front of him. The sky was the colour of amethysts. The night sky on Earth was a wonder, it was never the same colour twice, from the ruddy orange of snow clouds to the rich dark black blue of frost with the white shimmer that surrounded the moon. There were many reasons that Duo had made Earth his home after the wars, but the main reasons were the colours, the colours of the sky and the earth and water, the colours of the animals, of the birds. Colours they couldn't copy on the colonies, no matter how hard they tried.

"It is the reason I chose this apartment." Heero said from behind him, "it is worth the extra I pay in rent for a view of the memorial park just for that view of the night sky."

"It's beautiful." Duo said quietly, "the sky is such a beautiful colour,"

"It will be dawn soon." Heero said, "I shall fetch some blankets and then we can sit and watch it, if you do not mind."

"No," Duo said with a smile, "I don't mind at all." He tried to remember if he had ever sat with Heero before and watched the dawn spill over the horizon, if he had it was waiting for the go for a mission. Normally he watched the dawn because he was alone, that whatever partner he had taken home had gone and he couldn't sleep alone, no one had ever asked to watch the sunrise with him. He swallowed back the lump in his throat and opened the fridge to pull out the jug of filtered water and poured two glasses, watching the light spiral around the water as it fell into the glass.

"Here," Heero said holding out a military style blanket, "it is too cold to just sit and watch, do you wish to help me pull in one of the couches?"

Duo looked at Heero, so desperate to please the one guest he had ever had in his home, "no, 'Ro, it's fine, we're soldiers," he had a sparkle in his eyes as he said it, "we're used to deprivation and hardship. We can sit on the floor." As if to prove his point Duo squatted down on the floor with one of the tumblers of water in his hand and his blanket in the other, then wrapping the blanket about him with a flourish, like the snap of a cape, he offered his hand to Heero, to pull him down. With a barely repressed smile Heero did join him, and Duo leant against him, using the weight of their bodies to stop them falling, to give them support. "Do you sit here and just watch the dawn?" He asked.

"All the time." Heero answered. "Sometimes it is the only thing that gets me through the night."

"Yeah," Duo replied with a sigh, "nights are a bitch."

"Relena told me that cities, like cats, will reveal themselves at night." Heero said, unsure how to proceed but felt like this was an opening. "She used it to sign off her emails, I can't remember where the quote was from."

Duo smiled, "I know," he said, "one of those teachers at those endless boarding schools drilled it into me, it was a poet, she said it was the quote he should be remembered for, not the quote he was."

"It is a good quote." Heero said.

"It is." Duo answered. "Do you think that Brussels reveals itself at night?"

"Probably." Heero answered, "in moments like these where the sky is made of amethysts."

Duo looked at Heero for a long moment before he smiled, "that was almost beautiful. Never thought you had it in ya, Ro."

Heero ignored the slight jibe, "You can see Orion from here. I think he's the constellation most like us, he is the soldier."

Duo laid his head on Heero's shoulder, safe in the knowledge that Heero would say nothing about it. "Do you ever wish you were something else? That maybe you were, ya'no, ordinary?"

"Sometimes," Heero answered, "and then I remember if I was ordinary that I would not have met you and the other pilots." He said quietly, then took a sip of his water, "and I remember that it is better to be extraordinary in the company of friends than ordinary alone."

"But we are alone, Ro," Duo answered sadly, "we're always alone because we've done those terrible things, and I'd do them again, but…"

Duo stopped looking at the expression in Heero's eyes, "you do not have to tell me." Heero said quietly, "I understand."

"Thank you." Duo said quietly, "for everything."

"It is of no matter." Heero answered, "You are my guest, although with Lady Une's approval perhaps the more appropriate word would be hostage."

Duo smiled at the joke, "does she still scare you? Or is it just me?"

"Truth be told," Heero said with a bit of a grin, "she terrifies me."

"I never thought I'd hear the day when the perfect soldier referred to being terrified." Duo said with a playful punch to the arm.

"It is Lady Une that we speak of." Heero answered, "and I remember the nightmares that you had of her."

"She was going to execute me." Duo protested, "what did she do to you?"

"A full cavity search for weapons." Heero answered, and there was a moment's silence before Duo burst out laughing, and to the east the dawn spilled over the houses and parks of Brussels.

* * *

Author's note

"Cities, like cats, will reveal themselves at night", is a quote from Rupert Brooke's letters from America, it was how he described New York.


	3. peekaboo hiding

For Badmomma because she really is wonderful, and Julia whose review sparked me into writing another chapter.

* * *

Suede 3

"_You always felt like suede  
__There are days I am your twin  
__Peek a boo, hiding  
__underneath your skin"_

Heero switched off the phone and then looked at Duo, where he had come from the kitchen. He was yet to regain his appetite but Heero was making sure that he ate in a firm but noncommittal way. He was holding a protein bar. "That was Une," he said, and then smiled. "We're going away, I was just clearing it."

Duo blinked. "I don't understand."

"We are going on holiday." Heero said firmly, there was no argument in his tone. "I think it would be good for both of us. I contemplated merely behaving like tourists in Brussels but then decided that there was nothing here that I wanted to show you, that you would not have seen yourself, so I spoke to Une. We have two weeks in which to travel, with an option to extend it at my discretion."

"I don't get it." Duo stammered.

"It's really very simple." Heero said, "I want to go on holiday and I'm taking you with me. In the year between the wars I travelled extensively and there are things I would like to see again, and some things I would like to see with new eyes." He looked almost smug. "And this time I have a camera."

"How did you get holiday time out of Une?" Duo asked, trying to find some kind of handle on what he was seeing.

"I told her you needed it." Heero said.

"You lied to Une?" At that Duo was aghast.

"No," Heero said, "I think you do need it, the fact that I want it was just an added incentive to me."

Duo shook off the shock, like an animal that has been struck by a car trying to shake away the pain, it was an instinctive reaction for him. Everything that hurt him he either repressed or ignored, things that baffled him he had no time for. "So, Hee-chan?" To regain control he used the nickname that he knew that Heero hated, "Where are we going?"

Heero's face was impassive as he looked at Duo. "Where do you want to go?"

"Dunno," Duo answered. "Where do you want to go?"

"Where you want to go." Heero said, turning his own words back on him, "so where do you want to go?"

"I want to go where you're going," Duo could play this game as well as Heero, if not better, he had practised for years to annoy the perfect soldier with word games. "So where are we going."

"Where you want to go." Heero answered, "you just need to tell me where you want to go."

Duo smiled to himself, then took another bite of the protein bar, it was compressed cereal with a layer of some kind of milk substitute that was full of calcium and other minerals in milk. He had eaten them all the way through the wars and they still tasted like cardboard and gloy glue. "And I can go anywhere?" He asked.

"Anywhere you want." Heero answered, "we can take the train there, then maybe hire a car." He stopped for a moment. "Hey, Duo," he opened up the conversation. "Have you ever seen an ossuary?"

Duo ran the word through his head, as if by chewing on it with the protein bar he would recognise it. "You mean one of those planet thingies where they turn around and map the solar system." He circled his finger around the spiral he was making with his protein bar.

"That's an Orrery." Heero said. "I think you need to see an Ossuary, but I'm sure you'll understand. I'll book us tickets to Prague, we can spend a couple of days looking around the city before we move out to the Ossuary."

* * *

Prague had, at one point, been capital of Europe, but centuries had passed since that time and it had become a city luckily skirted by war with a rich trade in glass and precious stones. Heero could tell as soon as Duo stepped out of the taxi from the airport to look at their hotel that he loved it. It was an old city, much like Cinq, but without the polished gleam. This was old and beloved. Trams barrelled along the streets like they had done for hundreds of years, the bells of many churches choralled through the alleys, and through it, dividing the secular from the religious was the Vlatva river, toiling through the city like a laggard snake.

Duo wore a long black coat and was bundled up against the winter chill, the cold snap of Brussels was two inches of snow in Prague, even still the streets were crowded with tourists and there was a busy hustle in the several Christmas markets. He looked around the square where their hotel was situated in the Mala Strana and gave a low whistle. "You've been holding out on me, Yuy." He said. "Why couldn't you tell me it looked like this? You said it was just some run down old city."

"Like Cinq?" Heero asked with a perfect poker face.

Duo punched him on the arm. "Think we can grab something to eat."

Duo was like a child in a candy store in the souvenir shops, he lifted a hand-painted glass matreushka doll. "Ohmigod," he stammered, "Tro would flip for this, how much is it?" he asked the woman, "is that all, wow, I'll take it, and make sure you wrap it up good and tight, I don't want it to get broken." Heero looked at him with a sense of wonder, the doll was a series of dolls, each slightly smaller than the last that nestled inside each other, and each had been painted with translucent paint to look like a painting by Alphonse Mucha. He had said the same thing when he had seen the figurines between the wars. He hadn't bought them then though. Duo took the carefully wrapped box and slipped it into his backpack. "How did you keep secret about this place?" Duo asked, "I love it."

"I knew you would." Heero said, "I remember thinking that the first time I came through here, I thought I must take Duo to see the Stare Mesto and St Nicholas and the Hrad and." He stopped. "Then I never got chance to. I knew you'd love the city."

"Well." Duo said putting his hands on his hips and looking impish, there was a sense of joy about him that Heero hadn't seen in a very long time. "I've seen the Stare Mesto with it's wonky clock, and I've seen the Hrad and it's gallery." He crossed his arms over his chest, making his black wool scarf puff up. He wore a woollen muffin cap over his hair but his braid still hung down his back, "there's only one thing left on this list of yours, Heero Yuy, I want to see St Nicholas', I take it this is this amazing Ossuary you keep going on about but won't tell me what it is."

"No," Heero shook his head, "We'll go out to that tomorrow."

"Hey," Duo said as they started to climb the hill that led back to the Mala Strana and it's glorious monastery. "You think that Une would let us move here, I mean they've got to have Preventers here too, don'cha think?"

Heero laughed and then took Duo's gloved hand, "do you want to see St Nicholas'?" he asked in a breathy whisper. "It's not far from here."

"Hell, yeah, Yuy," Duo answered, "you keep telling me just how gorgeous it is and that it's like the best church in the world, and though I'm biased that it can't be, I wanna see Santa's church." Heero frowned for a moment, he obviously didn't understand. "Santa Claus, Santa Nicklaus, Saint Nicholas." Duo said, "sometimes, Heero, you worry me, you know that."

* * *

St Nicholas' church had been built by some of the richest emperors that the world had ever known, in the Stare Mesto was it's twin, but it was generally accepted that even it lacked the majesty. Up the hill was the fabulous St Vita's cathedral where the emperor's had been buried, where they had been crowned, but when they came to pray they had descended the hill to St Nicholas' and it showed.

Heero paid the few credits necessary to gain entry whilst Duo muttered under his breath about paying to getting into churches in a disgusted manner. "It's for the upkeep." Heero hissed back. "It's no different from paying to get into a museum, and it's not expensive."

"You shouldn't have to pay to go into a church." Duo repeated. "Three credits just to pray, it's like church taxes all over."

"You don't have to pay to pray sir," the young woman who was manning the desk told him, "just come before ten am and it's free, but so many people want to see the church we have to do something to allow people the peace to pray. Are you Catholic?" She asked, "Catholics always get most offended that they have to pay."

Heero swallowed his laugh. "Come on," Heero said taking him by the hand again revealing the white fabric round his wrist to the cold. Duo jerked his hand back and then pulled his sleeve down.

"It's a mortal sin," Duo said sadly as Heero pushed the door open. "I don't know if I'd be welcome in God's house anymore."

"Duo Maxwell," Heero said pulling him into the church, "you've just complained about paying to get in, come on."

Duo stepped into the church and for the first time in the face of god he was speechless. He felt very small and very insignificant, but also a wonder he hadn't felt since the Maxwell church all those years before. He found himself wanting to know what were the wonders that went through Heero's head as he looked around the church.

It was large with several smaller chapels along its length at both sides, and four large silvery marble pillars were adorned with gilt statues, a warrior, a bishop- a shah, each with a halo comprised of wire and stars. Just beyond them was the pulpit and it was carved with an image of the virgin and Christ child. The ceilings of the nave and dome were painted with bright colour frescoes. Everything was covered in gilt, the place was rich and dripping with wealth, but there was also a sense of peace here that Duo had not felt anywhere but the Maxwell church. "You knew." He said to Heero biting back tears. "You fucking knew."

"No," Heero said, "I just thought."

"Just…" Duo began, and with a quick genuflection to the life size golden crucifix that dominated the church he sat down on one of the pews. "Just…" there were no words.

"I'm sorry." He said, "I thought you'd like it."

Duo lowered his head for a moment. "It's a mortal sin, Heero, it's the one thing you can never be forgiven for, and this," he spread his hands to indicate the church, "this is more god's house than any place I have ever been since…" He went quiet. "Just leave me alone, I can find my way back to the hotel on my own."

"I," Heero began.

"I want to light a votive." Duo said, "and to spend some time here, I want to understand, I just need some time." He looked at the white peeking out between his black gloves and his wool coat. "I'll meet you back at the hotel."

Heero nodded. "Do you want me to take your back pack?" He asked. "And to get some liquor in." After he had seen St Nicholas' he had needed a drink. It had had that effect on him, that he had felt desolate and lonely in the face of someone else's amazing love, in the face of one man's amazing faith in building this place. He knew that Duo would love this place as much as he did, but he had to come to terms with it.

"Thank you." Duo said and handed him the backpack.

Heero slung it on his shoulder, then handed Duo a hundred credit note. "Light a votive for me too."

"Heero, they're about two credits each." Duo said sadly.

"Then light fifty." He answered, then with a quick nod to the crucifix which could not be called a genuflection Heero left him in the church.

"So," Duo said to the golden figure that hung suspended on the church, "it's just you and me, maybe it's time to talk."

* * *

Author's Note:

Ossuary and Orrery caused me all manner of headaches because I kept getting them confused and then I couldn't remember the word Orrery and you try looking it up on the web when you can't remember the word other than it's very like ossuary, but you know what it means.

Also I fell in love with Prague in a way that I had never really expected before, it hit me hard like a punch in the gut and thinking back I knew that of all the characters that I play with Duo would most appreciate St Nicholas and Duo would most appreciate the Ossuary at Kutna Hora. People who read my work a lot will notice I keep sending the characters to Prague (I did it in White Geisha too) but I really did fall for it and I think everyone should go and if one of you looks up the ossuary and decides to go when then I've done my bit for the Czech tourist industry. It's about 70p to get into St Nicholas' and it's about £6 to get into St Vita's. I don't begrudge the 70p but I'd kinda like my £6 back.


	4. underneath your skin

Title: Suede 4?  
Author: Seraphim Grace  
Archive: if you want it, just ask.  
Feedback: Always appreciated and replied to.  
Rating: PG-13  
Pairings: 1x2  
Warnings: Angst, shows an attempted suicide -NOT A DEATHFIC  
Notes: the lyric is from Tori Amos' Suede which gave me the idea (and  
happens to be uber sexy for those interested)

* * *

Suede 4

"_You always felt like suede  
__There are days I am your twin  
__Peek a boo, hiding  
__underneath your skin"_

01.32

Time passed with inexorable slowness as Heero watched the clock blink slowly into the night. Poets said that a moment was eternity for a prisoner and eternity a moment for a lover. The chill winter night of Prague was among the longest he had ever known. Duo had left him nearly nine hours before. He wondered if eternity was shorter than those nine hours waiting in a hotel room and worrying. He had ordered food that had gone cold and now sat in a pool of it's own congealed grease. He had tried to read, but couldn't settle. He stood at the window for a long time, telling himself that Duo was perfectly capable of looking after himself, that Duo scared armies, he could certainly make his own way back to the hotel, but another part of him saw him floating face down in the chill water of the river.

01.33

He flicked the television on, and scrolled through the channels. There was a news broadcast talking of an upcoming sports event in the city. He turned the TV off and looked hungrily at the white bed. He was tired. Duo wouldn't like it if he waited up for him, no matter how desperately he wanted to. There would be an argument. He could go to bed and then pretend that he had been asleep and that Duo had woken him. Even though Duo would recognise it for a sham. He might also recognise how terrified Heero was that Duo would leave him again.

01.34

The past few days with Duo had been calming. He had slept better than he had since the war, even when his sleep was fitful and broken by nightmares. Somehow just listening to Duo's soft breathing, neither of them snored, calmed him. He wondered if it was because they were comrades, that they knew the horrors the other had seen, even if only by sharing their own.

01.35

He came to the ready conclusion that he would pretend to sleep. It would show Duo that he trusted him. He would give him until oh-four-hundred hours before he went out searching, even if part of him was convinced that in some dark twisting alleyway of the Stare Mesto that there was a knife between Duo's ribs. He pulled his sweater over his head and stripped out of the thick jeans. In just his cotton briefs, he slid into the bed and resolved to wait.

01.36

There was some sort of movement outside the hotel, the sound of something dropped. It wasn't Duo.

01.44

Heero decided that giving Duo to oh four hundred was a little long, it would have meant that he was on his own for twelve hours, he decided that fifteen minutes was more than long enough. He would wait until oh two hundred and then go out and start searching, showing Duo he trusted him or not, they were in unfamiliar territory and Duo was weakened by his hospital stay.

01.52

Duo opened the door as quietly as he could to avoid waking Heero. He half expected Heero to be sat up, facing the door, arms crossed practising his glare on the wood. He wasn't.

Duo was a little surprised, and he didn't know if he was offended or honoured, that Heero had gone to bed; that he trusted him to come home on his own. He would decide that later. The room was warm and he was cold. The two beds seemed acres apart.

"Heero," he whispered into the dark, sitting down on his own bed. "Are you awake?"

"Yes," Heero answered quietly.

"About earlier, I'm sorry," Duo said, his eyes were downcast in the moonlight from the window. "I just needed some time."

"I know." Heero said quietly, the line of his arm above the quilt, where he lay on his side, was mesmerising.

"Heero," Duo said, "can I get into bed with you? I don't want to be alone anymore."

Heero scooted over the bed and opened the quilt with a faint smile. "I must have imagined a thousand ways for you to be dead," he said as Duo climbed in beside him. "It took all my reserve to trust that you'd be okay."

"Thank you." Duo said, tilting his head up to look at Heero where he lay on the pillow, his arm casually draped over Duo's side and their legs twined together. He licked his lips and took a deep breath, but Heero merely pulled him tighter, and tucked Duo's head under his chin.

"Go to sleep," Heero murmured into the night and the feathery softness of Duo's hair, "I'm here, I'm not going anywhere."

* * *

About a half hour's drive outside Prague was the town of Kutna Hora, and it was to the small suburb of Sedlec that Heero drove them. He stopped the car outside a gothic looking church, but as Duo's eyes were fixed on the ground for the whole journey he didn't see the unusual weathervane.

Heero opened the door for him and he climbed out of the car wearily. "This," Heero said with an expansive arm movement, "is the ossuary."

Slowly, as if he had been cast in lead, Duo followed Heero up the steps to the church and didn't balk as he paid the small entrance fee. "Is this your first time to the Church of Santa Barbara?" The old man on the door asked.

"No," Heero said, "I've been here before, but my friend hasn't."

The man opened the drawer on his desk and handed him a small brochure, "these are local restaurants and hotels and some pictures of the church. Enjoy your visit and go with god."

Duo snorted in answer but said nothing.

The church of Santa Barbara in Sedlec was the ossuary, and looking around it Duo let out a low whistle. "I don't know if this is heresy or worship." He said.

The church was adorned, liberally, with the bones of the dead. Streamers of human skulls and tibia crisscrossed across the ceiling.

A giant coat of arms decorated one wall.

In alcoves were cups made of bones.

The stands for candles were made of bones.

There was a pyramid of skulls behind a cage.

The chandelier was made of bones.

"An ossuary," Heero said, "is a place to store human bones," his voice was low, "and when they ran out of room in the ground they got a local artisan to find a use for the bones rather than grind them up and use them as building materials, like other churches did. This is why I took you to Prague."

Duo was gaping at the spectacle, which although grim and ghoulish had a weird sense of celebration about it. As bizarre as the items were they were, in a strange sense, also beautiful. This was not, as it would seem to others, a despots favoured sense of decorating, but a celebration of death that was in no way ghoulish. The artist had taken the materials at hand and created something wondrous. "How many?" He asked, his voice low and awe-struck.

"Over forty thousand." Heero answered. "They were already dead, they just had no more room for them."

"It's," Duo began but the words were gone. "It's," he started again but failed, "it's."

"Perfect for the God of Death." Heero finished. "I knew you'd love it. If it was a war memorial, or the remains of a great plague I think this place would be hellish, but…"

"It's the memory of someone's desire to be here even after death." Duo said. "When I die, I want someone to build something out of my bones, just like this. Heero, thank you, for bringing me here."

Heero smiled, a little shyly, "this kind of place is no fun to see on your own, now go stand beside the monstrance, I've brought my camera and I know you'll want a record of this."

* * *

Author's Note:

The Ossuary in Sedlec is completely real and is amazing and gruesome and there are pictures of it on the web if you look it up.

This is a good link for it http: www. ludd. luth. Se /users /silverp /kutna.html (to make it show in FF net I had to add spaces)

And the little moment between Duo and Heero in bed, I aint explaining it, was Heero dense, did he ignore the come on, did Duo intend to give such a blatant come on, was he offended by the rebuttal or relieved? I aint saying. Come to your own conclusions on that one.


	5. Anybody knows you can conjure anything b...

Title: Suede 5/5  
Author: Seraphim Grace  
Archive: if you want it, just ask.  
Feedback: Always appreciated and replied to.  
Rating: PG-13  
Pairings: 1x2  
Warnings: Angst, shows an attempted suicide -NOT A DEATHFIC  
Notes: the lyric is from Tori Amos' Suede which gave me the idea (and  
happens to be uber sexy for those interested)

* * *

Suede 5

"_You always felt like suede_

_There are days I am your twin_

_Peek a boo, hiding_

_underneath your skin"

* * *

_

The night train to Vienna from Paris was slow and as inexorable as time. It had long since become a luxury tour for those rich enough that they could take the time to not fly. Duo had grabbed the top bunk of their private cabin and almost immediately stripped down to his boxers and climbed in, but now he was sleepless, listening to the repeated kich-ch-shush of the train on the tracks as it sped across Europe.

"Heero," he said into the dark, "you awake."

"Hmm," Heero answered. "Can't sleep?"

"Nah," Duo told him, "this train's damn noisy."

There was a dark chuckle from the lower bunk. "It always relaxes me," Heero answered, "I could lie here all night making rhythms to that noise." He was silent for a moment, "it's always really good to make you sleep to do that."

"Tell me a story." Duo said, hanging over the edge of the bed. "Tell me a fairy tale where everything ends happily." When he flopped back unto his pillow the edge of his braid was still hanging down.

"Once," Heero began, "there was a merchant who loved his wife more than anything else," unconsciously he began to metre out the rhythm of his words to the sound of the train on the tracks, "but his wife was spoiled, first by her parents and then by the husband who loved her. She began to demand things of him, things he was always happy to supply." He took a deep breath before he continued, "the one day he discovered his wife was pregnant and made it his first priority to give his wife everything she wanted. Her demands got more and more obscure and more and more expensive until he lost his business and wealth supplying them. Then one day she asked for a tincture made of the herb Rapunzel so she would not lose her beauty." He fell silent for a moment. "Duo, surely you know this story."

"I do, Ro," he answered, "but tell it to me anyway."

"Okay, so the merchant did all he could to find the magical herb. A thief in the town told him of a witch that lived just beyond the borders of the country, if any have the herb, the thief told him, it will be the witch. So leaving behind his wife, the merchant travelled to the witch's house, and crept into her garden and took a cutting of the magical herb. The witch found him there, 'What are you doing, stealing from my garden?' she asked him, and the merchant fell to his knees and told her of the wife that he adored and how she wanted the herb more than anything." He took another deep breath, listening to the sound of the train and Duo's even breathing. "The witch agreed to a trade, she would let him have the herb but on this day, a month hence she would take something precious in exchange and he would bring it to her. The merchant thinking of the things that he had bought his wife, agreed."

"Ro," Duo said, flopping his head over the edge of the bed. "Can I get in with you?" Heero didn't speak to answer him, he just opened his covers as an invitation, scooting over in the bunk so he was up against the wall as Duo squeezed in beside him. "Not really enough room, eh?" Duo said, his breath washing over Heero's face. "You're so comfortable, now go on with the story."

"After a while the merchant forgot his promise with the witch, soon a month had gone by, and then a second, at the end of the third month his wife was born of a daughter. As she was screaming with the labour pains the witch knocked on his door. 'We had an agreement,' she told him, 'I will take something precious in exchange for the herb,' looking around the house she took the most precious thing therein, she took the baby daughter. 'and I shall call her Rapunzel."

Duo's fingers were playing across his pectoral muscles, as if learning his responses, but Heero continued on with his story. "She took the baby to a tower on her lands and stowed her in the highest room, then with her magic she removed the door and the stairs, and alone in the tower Rapunzel grew up."

"One day a handsome prince rode by and heard the sweet song from the tower and as he stood there he saw a beautiful maiden in the tower and resolved to learn everything he could about her, but she moved away from the window where she had stood, brushing her hair." He reached out and brushed one of Duo's bangs away from his face. "He watched the tower for days and days, waiting for some sign that he was welcomed, but there was none."

In the dark Duo smiled at him. "Eventually the witch came by with food and dresses for her charge and standing beneath the window called out 'Rapunzel, Rapunzel, let down your hair' and to the prince's astonishment she did. It was a braid of purest honey gold and it unfurled like a rope down all the way to the base of the tower. When it was done the witch climbed up the braid and into the window. After maybe an hour Rapunzel let down her hair again and the witch climbed away. The prince decided there and then that the next day he would call out the words and see the maiden in the tower with no door."

The moonlight that crept through the blinds had made a line of brilliance over Duo's cheekbone where he lay and in the dark Heero could see his eyes shining, his breath smelt sweet and hot against him.

"So he went to the base of the tower and called out the words 'Rapunzel, Rapunzel, let down your hair,' and she did." Heero was cut off by a finger pressed against his lips.

"No more," Duo said, "I never liked how that story ends." He nestled in tighter against Heero, "it's enough to end it there, with Rapunzel looking upon her prince, before the witch betrays them and cuts away her hair and the prince falls to his death."

"In the version I know although the prince falls he is only blinded and Rapunzel is cast from the tower and finds him," Heero corrected, "and she takes him back to his kingdom and his made his queen."

"I never thought that Professor J was the sort to tell you fairy tales." Duo said glibly. "Especially ones with happy endings."

"He wasn't," Heero answered, "Odin used to tell me them, before he died, when I couldn't sleep. He told me wonderful Russian fairy tales and I would have to ask him the next morning how they ended because I always fell asleep." He sounded a little sad so Duo wrapped his arms about him.

"I read them," he said, "when I was on the sweeper ship, one of the sweepers had it, it was the only book aboard ship and they taught me to read from it. In the orphanage they used to tell us bible stories, but I think I liked the fairy tales more." He sighed to himself, "Why Rapunzel?" He asked suddenly, "why not Snow White, or Cinderella, or Sleeping Beauty?"

"Your braid was hanging over the side of the bunk." Heero said, "and I suddenly thought, 'Duo Maxwell, Duo Maxwell, let down your hair.'"

Duo looked at him incredulous for a moment and then burst out laughing. "I never thought you for the type to think that." He said, he ran the tips of his fingers over Heero's chest, brushing briefly over a nipple and down to the ridges of his abdomen. There was nothing overtly sexual about it, it was about exploration. "Do you know what, Heero, your skin feels like suede."

Heero's fingers tentatively reached out and touched Duo's cheek, "you're more like velvet, soft and tactile."

"Are you saying you want to touch me?" Duo asked.

"I never want to stop." Heero admitted suddenly. It shocked them both to silence.

"You said you tell me why if I told you." Duo said, "I didn't want to be alone any more, I didn't want to lose anyone else. I thought if I died then no one else would die because of me and I wouldn't be left behind."

Heero pressed his forehead against Duo's. "I didn't want to be alone any more either, I could have told Une what to do with the mission, I could have asked anyone else to take it from me, but when I saw you in that hospital bed I realised that I was lonely, and I remembered the only time I wasn't, was when I was with you." His fingers tremulously traced the ridge of Duo's jaw, down to his petal soft pink lips. "I didn't want to be alone any more. I've been alone all my life."

It looked for a moment like Duo might cry but he closed himself up like a fan. "Heero, promise me," he started, "promise me that we'll be alone together from now on, okay."

"I promise." Heero answered solemnly. "Baka." He added. "Only you would make me promise what I intended to do all along."

"This doesn't change anything." Duo said loftily, "you know. We've still got to go back to Une and start work and then we'll never see each other because I work days and you work nights and we'll be strangers that pass in the night, and then we'll go back to our own apartments and random phone calls will become rarer and eventually…"

Heero's kiss was sudden and cut him off. "I quit the Preventers." He said quietly against Duo's agape mouth. "I told Une either I get put on the same shift you were on or I quit, she said that my job was there if I ever wanted it." He reached out and ran his fingertips over Duo's hair where it was pulled back into it's braid. "She said the same offer was there for you if you wanted it."

"Why did you kiss me?" Duo asked, pressing his fingertips to his lips.

"Because I wanted to. Do you know," Heero pressed his cheek against Duo's to press his lips against his ear, "you feel like velvet."

Duo's laugh was almost silent, "and you feel like suede."


End file.
